Kev, learning that the mail carriers are being killed, feels things have gotten out of hand and tries to disband the postal service for everyone's safety. Bethlehem orders any and all mail carriers shot and redoubles his efforts to find the Postman, as he's now called. He's an eccentric loner who has only ever thought about himself, for Pete's sake! Does he look like Gandhi?įearing that his reign of terror might be coming to an end, meanie Gen. He never intended to spark a social uprising. He only wanted to find his old home/neighborhood/village called Rosewood (or something like that). He only donned the mail carrier's uniform to escape the Holnists. No one is more surprised by this than our eccentric loner. The government has been re-established! The president is a good guy! They no longer have to fear the Holnists! Civilization is being restored! Even more important than the letters, however, is the hope the mail carriers are spreading. Soon, mail routes have been established, linking once isolated villages. To deliver the letters, people of all ages sign up to be postal carriers. While Kev and Abby nest, word continues to spread about the postal service and villagers everywhere start writing letters. But have no fear: Kev and Abby manage to escape and even find a cute cabin to spend the winter. The Holnists also catch up with Kev and he surrenders (don't ask). So they shoot everybody in sight, torch the post office a plucky dude named Ford Lincoln Mercury (Larenz Tate) has restored and take Abby hostage. See, they fear an independent postal system will threaten their power over the population. Bethlehem and his fanatical fascists arrive shortly thereafter. Michael is perfectly OK with this, by the way- said no sane husband ever born on God's Green Earth. Always a gentleman, our eccentric loner agrees, to the couple's delight.Īs nothing can keep a postman from his appointed rounds, our eccentric loner heads off to the village of Benning, lugging a whole batch of letters from the folks of Pineview. See, hubby's man juice is kaput (due to a bout of "the bad mumps") and Abby would like Kev to get her pregnant. Then Abby introduces Kev to her husband Michael (Charles Esten). As they dance, Abby asks Kev some very personal questions, like if he's married, if he's ever been sick, if he's ever had the Clap and if he has healthy man juice. That evening, the town has a hoe-down to celebrate and our eccentric loner meets up with a lady person named Abby (Olivia Williams). The villagers are delighted, especially when Kev gives them actual letters from real family members that folks haven't heard from in ages. The eccentric loner's first stop is the village of Pineview, where he convinces the town's mayor that he is indeed a mailman and that the government has slowly gotten up and running. "Don't you know it's illegal to read other people's mail?" smart ass Bill reminds Kev. Kev slips on the stiff's jacket, puts on his cap, grabs his satchel full of letters and heads off into the great wide somewhere. Besides lots of old, unopened mail, the eccentric loner finds the skeletal remains of a postal worker. It's clear our eccentric loner isn't going to put up with this nonsense for very long, so he ditches the Holnists and finds safety in an old mail truck. An "army" that steals Kev's mule and then later eats him. An "army" that considers itself the law of the land. He orders Kev and the other guys to join his "army"-an "army" called "The Holnists" who are obsessed with the number 8. Bethlehem (Will Patton) rides into a village. However, one day a nasty, fascist, violent, megalomaniac thug named Gen. Of course, eccentric loner Kev doesn't think much about the people he meets or their sad lives he just does his thing, gets his money and trudges off into the sunset, leaving behind only the great smell of Brut. The best character in the cast is played by a mule named Bill, who wisely kept his real name out of the credits.Īlthough "The Postman" is based on a dystopian novel by Brian Drin, it's really just the same old saw about an eccentric loner wandering aimlessly among the remains of a once-great-nation, who inadvertently starts a movement that inspires the downtrodden to throw off the yoke of their oppressors and reclaim their freedom and dignity.įor our purposes, the eccentric loner is played by Kev, who wanders aimlessly among the ruins of a once-great-nation, visiting knots of villages, performing bits of Shakespeare with his mule Bill, who out acts him at every turn. It's stupid, awful, dunder-headed, smug and down right offensive-and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. This movie is about as believable as a Kardashian virginity pledge. This flick makes about as much sense as a knitted condom. If it was more of a dog, it would have fleas. To get straight to the point, this movie sucks. The shades make the Postman look like a bad ass.
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